Very polite of him to greet the guests
Okay this is just getting funny now
in the bible in revelations i think or somewhere, it warns you that near the end times, false prophets will pop up claiming to be the messiah. do you ever think scholars from like 700 years ago studying the bible would have thought this would be one of them
I think the only person I've met in real life with 100% career satisfaction was this gal I knew who was a presenter at a children's science museum and delivered every line like she was running a WWE match. Every time you passed the room where she was giving a presentation, you'd hear something like "WHO'S READY FOR CEPHALOPODS?!?" and the kids would go absolutely nuts cheering.
Forbidden cheese
potion of donald duck noises
Tired of watching your pot for the water to boil? Skip the wait with this one weird trick!
i told my friend’s dad that he was hot (it was in context with the conversation, he was complaining that he was feeling old, etc), and he said a very genuine thank you and the conversation moved on to other topic, my friend was now talking about something else entirely when his dad goes
“i think if i were born in your generation i might have been bisexual”
and friend got kinda mad at me lmao
Fuck his dad
being an adult is just dragging urself kicking and screaming to things that you will enjoy and that will be good for you
clenching my teeth and muttering under my breath "you'll be happy you did it you'll be happy you did it you'll be happy you did it" as I physically force myself out the door to go Do Things
being very firm with myself every time I think about bailing and saying "no. you committed to this. it will improve your quality of life. you will enjoy it. now put on your big boy pants and go."
still one of my favorite bits i ever got to commit was pretending not to know who jesus is when a street preacher was evangelizing to me. he was like "do you know who jesus is?" and i had so much time before my next bus and i wanted to know what would happen so i said no. and you know what. he had clearly never been told no to that question before because if i hadn't actually known who jesus was, his baffled and fumbling attempt sure wouldn't have told me. literally reversed the roles. now you get to stand here feeling very uncomfortable and wishing you could be somewhere else because guess what buddy, this is my bus stop, im early (and can catch like five other buses from this exact stop), and im now thoroughly invested in hearing about this mysterious jesus figure. you're locked in here with me. im eating the key as we speak. i will kill us both before i let you out of here.
very highly recommend this bit if you can pull it off and if you have time to kill
everythingfox